Today is October 8, 2010. One month from today, we have to be moved out of what was our dream home. That's hard enough, But I'm also feeling on the edge of panic as I look at all that still needs to be done between now and then! I think I've come to terms with losing this house. I mean, it was never ours to begin with, and we weren't in God's will in building it, so we've known for a while that this day was coming. I think the hardest part is having to start all over again. We're back to square one, where we were 22+ years ago when we got married. We were younger then, with life stretching out ahead of us full hopes, dreams and plans. Now we're further along in this journey of life, and the prospect of having to start over again is just not the same as it was over 20 years ago. In fact, it's downright scary! I'm just grateful that I can trust in God and in His plan for us as we journey through this valley.
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. ~Psalm 42:11
With that being said, I am grateful! I am grateful because my husband has finally been hired for a full-time job! It's not the job he had envisioned... in fact he is having to start in an entry level job doing something that isn't even in his field of expertise. But this is the job that God has provided for him, so we are grateful and will do our best to be good stewards of what little money we have. I am grateful for our three daughters who are weathering this storm with us and growing spiritually as we go through this as a family. I am grateful that I haven't heard one word of bitterness or "why me" coming from them! They, too, are learning to trust in the One who has everything in His control and know that even when things are dark and scary, He is there carrying us through it. I am grateful for friends and family like you who have been praying us through this. I am grateful for your encouraging words, and I am grateful for those of you who have blessed us with gifts that always come at just the right time! My heart is overflowing as I thank God for each one of you who have been walking this journey with us.
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:3-6
Of course, this journey is not over yet. We are now working on finding a place to live when we move in a month and trying not to worry about that. It's going to be a challenge based on the salary Bob will be making with his new job. And then there are the deposits and all. And finding a place that will be big enough for a family of five, and it's no longer us and three small children, but rather three teenagers. Well, we'll need at least TWO bathrooms! LOL. So we pray and look and trust that God knows where that place is that will be our new home and that He'll lead us to it. And we pray that we will wait patiently without worry or fear as we wait on His perfect timing.
Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for Him... ~Psalm 37:7a
I wish I could say that I'm not struggling with all of this, but I am. Honestly, I'm struggling on a daily basis. I wake up at night wondering how we're going to get moved out of here, and how we're going to find a decent place we can afford to rent. But then I have to stop and listen for my Savior's still small voice and trust Him. Why is it always so hard to just TRUST Him?! Maybe someday I'll finally learn how.
Be still, and know that I am God... ~Psalm 46:10a
Needless to say, we still covet your prayers. We feel like we're finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, but there's still a ways to go until we actually will be able to emerge out into that light.
And the journey continues......
But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 3:13b-14